This Is SPARTA!

The Czech people love their hockey as much as they love their soccer. There are two professional teams in the Czech version of the NHL: Slavia and Sparta. Sparta had a home game on Sunday afternoon so, after sleeping in way too late, Jon and I rushed to the arena for a sampling of Czech fandom.

The arena is on the outskirts of the city. It looks and feels like an American high school gym built in the 1970's, complete with tiny concession stands and a merchandise booth no doubt run by the players' moms. We bought a couple of t-shirts and the lady just added up the total in her head; no cash register, only a money pouch. The whole experience including a ticket to the game, a sausage, and two beers cost me the equivalent of roughly thirty four U.S. dollars. What would the same kind of experience cost in America, eighty, one hundred dollars? The net result of this affordability is that the fans are die hard. When you keep the cost down, you draw the type of people who stand up the entire game and cheer wildly for their beloved team (see Bill Simmons article: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/partone/081121). Hockey is a fine spectator sport in general and if you haven't been to a game I suggest you remedy this omission from your leisure resume. It is violent yet graceful. Scoring is minimal but the action is constant.

Czech hockey fans behave much like European soccer fans. Fans in Europe behave a little differently from those in America. We have coordinated chants in the States but they are rarely directed at the other team's fans. European fans basically make fun of each other the entire game. The opposing team, Bolesvice in this case, will says something like, "Spartans are a bunch of sissy boys", and Sparta will reply with something like, "At least we aren't Jews." It gets pretty nasty and sometimes nonsensical like the above mentioned, supposedly true although I can't confirm because I don't speak Czech, example. They also universally do this thing where they clap their hands and then hold them apart in the air with palms facing outward in an attempt to make each fan look bigger thus more intimidating. Picture how you would react if you encountered a bear in the woods, at least how I have been told you should react. The truth is, if I ever encounter a bear in the woods and he or she comes after me, I will likely soil myself before crying and then passing out. I hope this helps.

Sparta was down 1-0 when we got to our seats because apparently the Czechs gave absolutely no thought to the organization of their stadium and did not expect that foreigners or non-die hard fans would attend any games. First of all, we got one ticket for two people. This must have been brand new to the high school kids taking our tickets at the gate. They wouldn't let me through the turnstile because I didn't have a ticket. We explained that the ticket was for two people and they looked at us like we were refusing to pay for use of the bathroom. Some broken English finally remedied the problem and I just walked around the turnstile. After securing some beers and sausages (breakfast) we set about finding our seats. We paid the extra dollar for the "nicer" seats, ones with a better view of the ice. Unfortunately, the stairs to the nicer seats are concealed behind a bookcase that you open by pulling the correct book halfway off the shelf while reciting the password. I'm not really sure how we got to our seats. Jon kept asking various employees who looked like ushers but all they did was point in opposing directions causing us to run around the stadium like an old silent film or a flashback scene from Family Guy.

Fortunately, Sparta (We) recovered from the early deficit to tie it up in the second period. The game was much like North American hockey except less violent and with more cheerleaders. The cheerleaders are not a distraction; they are active participants in the production. Every so often play stops, the lights go out, and four cheer leaders come onto the ice, two at one goal and two at the other. To the untrained eye, it looks like they are about to put on a burlesque show. They are wearing almost nothing with a spotlight on them and techno music playing. Alas, instead of a show, they just skate over to the goal, sweep the excess ice into a dustpan, wave to the crowd, and skate off of the ice. I like to call it, Sexy Abbreviated Zamboni. It has been a long time since I attended an NHL game but I don't remember anything like this happening and I'm pretty sure I would have as I was about twelve during my last live NHL game. If scantily clad cheerleaders arbitrarily interrupted play, I would have noticed.

We won the game 2-1. I really enjoyed the whole experience. After the game, we had another fulfilling dinner and then went home. We were both beat and I had three days left in Prague.

Dinner was average this time. We inadvertently went to a touristy place and overpaid for our meal. It did, however, provide a "Mom would have gotten up and left" moment. I had a view of the kitchen and noticed the cook was chain smoking cigarettes. Think that would pass health inspection in the States?